The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: [Post-04, drabble collection] 'Am I going to visit you one day and find you don't remember me'
1. You're Dead

**A/N**: Written for the Becoming a Tamer King Challenge on the DFC (link in profile), Data Forest task. The task is to write a drabble collection focusing on a singular character or pairing, so I've chosen Kouichi from Frontier. Also, since I've started off with Tanemon, an additional requirement is that consecutive fics can't be in the same POV/tense combination, so while multichaps count as one fic, collections count as different fics. So you'll be seeing alternations here: first person, either past or present, and third person present. Each drabble will also be 100 words; not a compulsory part of the challenge, but it's easier to keep track of the word bank, and an additional challenge for me.

Also taking the opportunity to experiment on something I've tried and failed before (there was a word count issue with that one; it's a lot harder to write 10k of dialogue, particularly with the time I left myself. :D)

The first person/dialogue bits are all Kouji addressing Kouichi (for the most part; some towards the end may be Kouji addressing other people). Some are past-tense, aka. Kouji talking about something that has already happened – but later, they'll start becoming (or maybe getting mixed with) present tense.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
1. You're Dead**

'I really thought you were dead, you know. It almost stopped my heart when I saw the staircase blocked off, with your hat at the bottom.

I don't think my brain registered you weren't lying there as well, that it was _just_ that stupid hat – and light blue doesn't really suit you anyway. Why in the world would you wear it?

The policeman pointed us this way, and we ran. All of us, but I wasn't really paying attention then. I just needed to see you –

And you really did stop my heart, lying there, your own heart not beating.'


	2. He's Dead

**A/N:** Third person present tense this time. :D Next chapter it's back to Kouji's dialogue first person snippets. In other words, odd chapters are first person, even are third person present. Not sure if I'm ending on an odd or an even at this point.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
2. He's Dead**

He can become just another sad statistic in the records. It not uncommon, and they are faced with impending death so often they cannot cling to the threads of hope that flutter in their face.

They can try, but that's all. Emergency first aid, when what the hospital can provide. Oxygen. Monitoring heart rate. Defibrillation if the heart flat-lines. Sign a paper if it all fails. Continue appropriate care if it succeeds.

It's always sad when children die, but they have to comfort themselves with the others they save.

Still, the wait before confirmation of life or death is hard.


	3. You're Alive

**A/N:** Back to Kouji.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
3. You're Alive**

'Your eyes look like someone painted them with watercolours, and you're so limp on that gurney. I'm touching you, grabbing your shoulders, and there's not even a twitch. You'd jump a mile if I grabbed you like that in the Digital World – but this isn't the Digital World, where rebirth follows.

My heart plummets; it hits me then, that you could really be –

Nothing can stop me desperately shaking you, screaming, crying – nothing, unless you sit up and tell me you're fine…

Except you're suddenly staring at me, eyes watering, and saying my name, and I still can't stop crying.'


	4. He's Alive

**A/N:** Coming along slowly but smoothly, which is always better than a fast crash.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
4. He's Alive**

He's alive, though he almost died.

He's lucky. Most aren't sure _how_ survived; they only know he did. Some aren't sure about the "has" yet, because head injuries are fickle and there's no such thing as being out of the danger zone with them.

He's closer to the edge than he was ten minutes ago: eyes brimming with tears is a definite improvement to eyes looking like they were painted with watercolours. And an ECG that regularly spits out a short beep is better than an ECG droning a long monotone.

He's alive, and they can all go from there.


	5. I'm Not Dreaming

**A/N:** Back to Kouji.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
5. I'm Not Dreaming**

'You're alive. You're alive, alive. Conscious. _Talking_ – though everything blurs together afterwards from relief, and the Doctors kick us out.

It's like I've just noticed the others are with me. Takuya, Izumi, Tomoki and Junpei, all looking worse for wear but relieved and drained…like I'm probably looking now.

But you're _alive_, and it's hard to think about anything else. Because you could have been dead – _we're_ dead, that time in the Digital World, and what it took for us to reach you, and even now it seems like something could vanish like the wisps of a dream…

But you're _alive_.'


	6. It's Not a Dream

**A/N:** I didn't realise how many drabbles I'd need to write to pass the minimum number of experience. :D Good thing this idea's taking a while, huh. Writing-wise, I'm up to drabble 18 now, but there's still a ways to go.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
6. It's Not a Dream**

He thinks everything is a little fuzzy round the edges and muddled, but that doesn't seem important. His brother's warm body clutching him tightly is real, real enough for him to reach out and for Kouji to grasp his hand.

The cries of their other friends are real as well, and even if he can't make out what they're saying, it's enough to hear them, see them there. Enough to feel them embrace him, his brother holding him up. Enough to feel their tears fall, their warm hands clutching him tightly.

It's enough for him to hold them and cry.


	7. I'm Tired

**A/N:** Did I just write one that didn't need any editing to be exactly 100 words? Apparently so. :D I suppose it could happen once in a blue moon.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
7. I'm Tired **

'I'm so tired, now. I hadn't even realised how worried and hyper-alert I was until it all drained away, like losing the adrenaline at the end of a long and gruelling fight.

I guess this was a fight too, in a sense. But your fight more than mine. I wonder if you're this exhausted as well – but that's good then, right? The fighting's all over, and nothing's going to sneak up on us now. We can go visit 'kaa-san together, and I can pick up those flowers for Satomi-san, and you can finally talk to 'tou-san like you always wanted…'


	8. He's Tired

**A/N**: Running out of stuff to say in the author's notes… :D Enjoy.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
8. He's Tired**

He's barely focusing as the Doctor asks him questions, but he answers them all. They're simple question: his name, where he lives, what he'd been doing – and the last is the only one he tumbles upon, starting on a tangent about a fallen angel before switching to falling down a flight of stairs.

The Doctor notes it down, but doesn't think much of it. After all, dreams aren't uncommon on the fringe of death, and the patient looks half-asleep anyway, now that the struggles and tearful reunions have all passed.

He drifts off asleep when the Doctor takes his leave.


	9. I'm Scared I

**A/N: **Yay, baby photos!

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
9. I'm Scared I**

'I'm in my room and alone, trying to fall asleep. It all looks the same – since we didn't even spend twenty minutes in the Digital World, our time. But it's too similar, you know, because there's no sign of anything having changed. There are no scars, no marks – we didn't even take down each other's numbers because we hadn't notice our D-scanners had turned back into phones.

There's not a trace of the Digital World left, except memories. It's so easy to think that you could have been a dream too – but here's a baby picture to tell you're not.'


	10. He's (Kouji's) Scared

**A/N:** This was a tricky one. And the first third person one focusing on Kouji. And last, now that I've finished the fic. :D It's at thirty drabbles; a nice round number, and all of them are exactly 100 words, so I'm proud of that.

I'll update every two or three days, depending on my uni schedule. If I forget, feel free to remind me. :D

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
10. He's (Kouji's) Scared**

Shocking revelations can easily be second-guessed, and Kouji was doing exactly that.

The house looks the same as it always has. They haven't talked yet either. Kouji doesn't feel sure enough to start, and neither adult does so.

Kouji finds himself at the sparse albums, searching for some proof: proof of his brother's existence. Proof it wasn't all just a dream, that he doesn't return to the hospital (or visit) to find no Kouichi there. But there is only him.

Luckily, his father sees him, and understands, and gave him photos he'd never seen before. Photos with both of them.


	11. You're Scared

**A/N: **It occurred to me in uni the day after I posted the last chapter that I should have another one from Kouji-speak to wrap things up a little better, so now it's 31…which isn't _too_ different from 30 I guess. I'm happier with this conclusion though; it adds something that was missing from ending in third person I think.

But that's a ways off for you guys. Enjoy.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
11. You're Scared **

'We made a pretty cute pair as kids, you know. As alike as peas in a pod, but as different as the sun and moon as well. We looked almost like the innocent twin and the evil one – except you didn't look quite that innocent and I wasn't that grouchy. Apparently, I didn't like photos back then any more than I do now.

I can look at this photo for now… but you don't have anything like this. I hope you can sleep easier than me – you're not lying awake scared it's all just a dream and you'll wake up.'


	12. He's (Kouichi's) Scared

**A/N: **I totally forgot to update and no-one reminded me. :D I guess it was the fault of all those HP comps that were due in recently. Still got three more due in the next day or so, but hopefully a bit of breather after that.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
12. He's (Kouichi's) Scared**

He's not lying awake, because he is both mentally and physically exhausted. But he jerks awake soon after falling asleep, and he passes much of the night this way. When he awakes, he's exhausted, lying like a dried fish in a tiny pool of water: just enough to live, too tired to struggle, but not enough to do or even think about anyone else.

He just stares vaguely at the ceiling, appearing hazy and grey rather than the moonlit white it should. And it seemed haunting, eerie and unfamiliar – but he was half asleep and couldn't think what _was_ familiar.


	13. I've Fallen Asleep

**A/N:** Aww, I'm making these guys suffer so much, and we've barely started the real plot of this story.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
13. I've Fallen Asleep**

'I think I slept, finally. Not for long, because I woke up red-eyed and heavy headed, but it was morning, and last I knew it had been before dawn.

It hadn't done a thing, except brought the morning around faster. Dragging myself out of bed doesn't make it seem appealing in the least, but I know I'm going to see you and that's a bright spot – I think.

I put the picture of us next to Mum's, so it's easy to spot when I wake up. Perfect for soothing nightmares…but it's not good enough, you know. It's not you now.'


	14. He's Fallen Asleep

**A/N:** And poor Kouichi suffering from the aftereffects of falling down stairs. Well, I am a med-student. :D Although my specialty'll probably be cancer, not neuro.

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
14. He's Fallen Asleep**

He wakes up fully with the sun streaming in through the windows, though it's still a hazy scene, and he can't keep his eyes open for more than a minute before he closes them, eyes stinging.

He doesn't open his eyes again until someone asks him too, in a voice he doesn't recognise but feels he should obey anyhow. When he does though, spots dance and stab at him like swords, and he chokes on the bile rising in his throat.

Something is shoved into his hands and he clutches it. It is cold and firm and comforting but unfamiliar.


	15. I've Got a Headache

**A/N**: This one just tickles me for some reason. And sorry for the late post again; I got caught up with HPFC comps that were due by the end of this month. There was just too many of them...and I'm amazed I'm down to the last one now. Unfortunately, there are a few non HP challenges too...

The life of a challenge addict. :D

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**The Fragments I Catch of Dying Memories  
15. I've Got a Headache**

'I know you're the one who fell down the stairs, but I had a headache soon after waking up. You're not sending it through some weird twin-channel are you?

Aspirin's good for sleep though. Satomi gave me some, and I crashed for a few hours. Luckily I hadn't bothered getting dressed. The headache's gone too; 'tou-san thinks it was the lack of sleep, which it could have been. Or you could be feeling sick, and I can't stand having to wait until after lunch to see you.

Waiting sucks. Headaches suck too; I don't get them very often at least.'


End file.
